We are All Gym Class Heroes
Thanks, Olympics.
This weekend - after the Masters but before Bill Belichick summoned a monsoon to annihilate the Ravens and send Baltimore into a tailspin - World Lacrosse revealed that they approved the ruleset that had been previously known as “sky blue” to those of us in the ether/cloaked in media res. Here is part of that release:
COLORADO SPRINGS, COLORADO, USA — Delegates representing the membership of World Lacrosse approved the initial set of Official Playing Rules for the new, 6 v 6 discipline of lacrosse during Day Two of the international federation’s General Assembly, which was held today in a virtual format.
The Official Playing Rules were developed through an extensive trial, consultation and drafting process that involved athletes, coaches, officials and administrators from across the World Lacrosse membership. As this is the first set of Official Playing Rules for the new discipline, ample opportunities will remain for further input and continued refinement of the playing rules throughout 2020-21, including at the 2021 World Lacrosse General Assembly.
The Official Playing Rules will be available on the World Lacrosse website beginning the week of November 16.
The 6 v 6 discipline was developed by the World Lacrosse Blue Skies Working Group, which then turned to the Technical Committee for development and drafting of the Official Playing Rules.
This older memification of the new Olympic rules for lacrosse says more than I ever could. (I’m not claiming ownership of this image, but also not implicating the creator as I do not want it used against them because the internet is stupid and malicious and needs to chill.)
Do I hate this nerfed/gym class ruleset? As a “lacrosse purist”...Yeah, I suppose I do. Do I recognize that lacrosse, at least the way it is played in the men’s field version, is not financially appealing/feasible enough to spread across the world in the same way that other North American sports have? Also, yes. You can have different opinions and still have the greater good be a part of your thought process. I know people think that’s impossible and everything is bifurcated, because...the world, but that’s just not true.
The truth is that this set of rules is not FOR us. Lacrosse already has us in its thrall - we’re already fans. Like Cricket and Rugby before it, this interpretation of the game means that lacrosse has effectively downsized its footprint and eased the barrier of entry.
This is the introductory level iPhone of lacrosse; the iLacrosse SE. The new iPhone 12 Max isn’t for everyone not only because it costs the most, but because some people just want the Apple experience in an easier to handle conglomeration. It’s an entry-level product. It’s flat out easier to play, which is why it seems so dumb to us. We all know that a group of lacrosse professionals - men or women - would easily hold new nations playing with traditional rulesets completely scoreless and suck every ounce of joy out of the experience. Win. Be ruthless. This new ruleset doesn’t eliminate that possibility, but it allows teams a much better chance to actually score. Do you hate this ruleset because you think you and your buddies could roll every country in the world because you had a super sick pick-up session before COVID hit?
“But why do Olympic rules have to exist? Shut up and go away new things, we like our old things! Stop pretending to be the same thing we already love!”
Deep down you know why. You know why this had to happen. You know damn well that [men’s field] lacrosse can’t spread across the globe when it costs nearly a thousand dollars per player just to step onto the field. We’ve been over this a hundred/dozen times, but let’s do it again.
The most expensive equipment for a sport like, let’s say - basketball is….shoes. Here is what a pair of new LeBron’s cost: $200.00
Here is the cost for a top tier (NBA official) ball: $147.68
Hey, let’s throw in Amazon’s best-selling hoop for funsies: $177.31
That’s a grand total of $524.99. Are there more expensive hoops? Sure. How much does a lacrosse goal cost again?
Now, what does a set of the best-selling men’s lacrosse gear cost at full retail?*
Let’s sort it by best-selling for a little variety.
Helmet ($249.99-289.99)
Gloves ($129.99-179.99)
Arm Pads ($74.99-99.99)
Shoulder Pads ($109.99-$134.99)
Cleats ($99.99-109.99)
Shaft ($99.99-129.99)
Head (Listen - they’re all $89.99 Unstrung, fight me.)
Stringing ($29.99-59.99)
The grand total, if you swap and switch, is between $959.92-989.52
*Items sorted by “best-selling” and prices cited are “full retail” from three prominent lacrosse specialty retailers.
Hunh. It’s almost like...everything costs...the maximum amount of money possible? Is….is that correct? Can you get cheaper gear? Absolutely. But how much cheaper will it be? Half? Are the lower cost items made of lower quality materials? Will that cost be subsidized? How substantial is the bulk discount? Who is paying for it? Is this entire article an argument for why women’s lacrosse is fiscally superior?
What’s the price for just gloves, a [possibly modified] helmet, and a stick for the Olympic ruleset?
How about this - your World Championships aren’t going anywhere. There will still be U-19, field, and box championships for BOTH genders. Wait all the old rules are still here? All the games and tournaments are still happening? Yes and yes. Stop fighting to keep things that aren’t being taken away from you.
But hey, by all means, voice your senseless rage. Grow the noise void. Be dismissively redundant. We definitely need more of that. War is a force that gives us meaning.