The LacroCity Weekend Primer 3/19/21

Shut Up Big Ten.

Welcome back, lacrosse never sleeps, and neither do I. There are a few great games so I won’t keep you long, but this is your weekly reminder that you can choose to become a paid subscriber at any time. Paid subscriber requests will be added as soon as I get to triple digits, so let that marinate before you throw it on the money grill. (In this scenario I am the money grill - please place cash steaks into the embers of my recycled rage).

Stat of the Week

LIU’s Will Mark Makes 24 Stops to Beat Hobart 14-12.

There’s not much more to elaborate on other than the performance was transcendent and proof that a great goalie performance can single-handedly win games. Do you see the rules committee changing rules for goalies because their ability to stop the ball is unfair? Why is the rules committee constantly trying to change the face-off rules when that’s just a possession? Shouldn’t they be making goalies play with their off-hand if they’re so concerned with everything being fair? I know Hobart would have loved that stipulation last Saturday. Will Mark made big boy shooters shrink into toddlers tossing a beachball into a pit of nails. Hats off to the Sharks for the biggest win in program history.

Game to Watch

Uh, wow, this DI slate is dire and I’m really sick of the Big Ten so guess what that means? We’re diving into the #DIIILife. 

Let’s talk Salisbury vs. Cabrini. FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS! Seagull Eyes, Cavalier Hearts, Someone Has to Lose! 

• The first thing to note is that Salisbury is playing angry, nay - furious. They dropped a 30 spot on Southern Virginia nearly a week ago and followed that up with a 24 goal barrage against Mary Washington. Cross Ferrara had 20 points in those two games. Twenty. Venti. He was dark roasting defenses. 

• We don’t really know how good Cabrini is. Technically, they are the reigning DIII champions, but they haven’t been smashing the competition into tiny pieces and then incinerating those bits as the Seagulls have. Cabrini “only” beat Southern Virginia (the team of choice for hipster DIII fans that are “so over” Illinois Wesleyan) by two goals. Salisbury beat SVU by 20. 

• This is absolutely a litmus test for both squads that are battling for top-tier supremacy in the national consciousness. The honus of desperation will hang on the Cavaliers, but don’t mistake Salisbury as a thirst-free squad. At least, their fans aren’t. Half the country doesn’t even know they lost to Lynchburg yet. This is why DIII needs more coverage locally and nationally. You can’t just post results anymore. Which is why you come here and I am thankful for your patronage.

• Transition is going to be the key for both of these squads as they each thrive off of the buy-it-now eBay nature of easy goals just as much as the difficult 6 am bids. This game will only be played in the six on six if Cabrini can wrest the necessary control from the clutches of the besweatered Gulls betwixt the boxes. Don’t expect it to happen, but if it does, the game will yield far less than the proposed 30-goal threshold. 

One on One Match up to Watch

Dylan Pallonetti vs. The Entire City of Lowell, Massachusetts.

Confession - one of my favorite players to watch this entire season has been Stony Brook’s Dylan Pallonetti. So much so that I’ve been workshopping nicknames for him in an entirely separate google doc. UMass-Lowell is going to have to throw two defenders at Pallonetti every time he catches the ball and hope only one of them catches a stray. What’s poppin’? This shot off of your collar bone, bud.

I know Stony Brook’s only national appearance was a drubbing at the hands of Syracuse, but the offense is actually really fun thanks to Pallonetti’s mixture of gunslinging and deceptive vision. Technically a freshman, but actually a transfer from Maryland, Pallonetti loves to shoot. I mean, he’s a great melding of the bro that closes his eyes and blasts the ball as hard as he can with the guy that zeroes in on a far corner and wills the ball into that spot.

Stony Brook moves him around to get the best looks possible, but he’s at his best on that low wing where you think he has no angle just before he takes a step upfield. His second step is into a powerful nightmare right before he pulls the trigger. If you love shooters, soak up some Seawolf highlights - you won’t be disappointed. 

Devitte Matrix Leaderboard Presented by Lax Reference

The Devitte Matrix is a number that combines a player’s goals and assists and subtracts their turnovers. We’re trying to make it into an effective and more universal measurement of true offensive contribution. You know, like streaming and TV ratings combined with cable attrition. You suck, Comcast.  

1. Chris Gray, UNC, 40 (5.7 DMPG)

2. Michael Sowers, Duke, 30 (3.75 DMPG)

3. Joe Robertson, Duke, 28 (4.67 DMPG)

4. Ryan Tierney, Hofstra, 23 (5.75 DMPG)

5. Jackson Morrill, Denver 23 (2.88 DMPG)

Is Clark going to win this week? 

No, BUT you can read my NEWMAC preview next week on New England Lacrosse Journal. Will Clark be ranked in the top five or will I purposefully sandbag the team in an effort to enhance the element of surprise? You’ll have to wait and find out!