Checking in

You can only control what you can control

College lacrosse starts this weekend. Which means a few of my players, and probably yours as well, are undergoing one of the more difficult times of their lives.

Being a freshman lacrosse player is not an easy vocation.

Three main things are working against you:

• You’re going from being the big dog, all the way back to begging for walks.

• Everyone older than you on your team is probably better than you, and if they’re not better, they’re more trusted by the coaching staff.

• You’re navigating an entirely new phase of your life while trying to play the sport that you love…With a minimal support system.

For many guys, getting on campus is a gradual reality check. No one is there to stop you from doing anything. So, naturally, limits are tested.

Now, a lot of you parents who are reading this have short memories about college. You remember all of the bad stuff. The drinking, the carousing, the trouble-making. I remember it being a chance for a total and complete reset. I’ll never forget meeting a group of strangers and them asking me what my deal was and having a complete and total inability to communicate properly. I was accepted into the fold initially because of how I looked, the sport I played, and the arrogance disguised as confidence. But that only lasts for so long. Tribes are formed, and members are excised as quickly as they are accepted.

So, when I got a few texts from my former players about adjusting to the new environments, it felt oddly familiar. They were the same texts that I typed out but didn’t have anyone to send to. Now I’m the guy who gets those texts and I’m proud to be the one who gets to help. The funny thing is, the overall message is not that much different to these kids from when I was coaching them last year.

As much as I would like to show up to all of their games and do what Shoresey does here - I can’t.

But I can try to be as supportive as possible from afar.

One player was asked to switch positions and was really unsure about it.

So I sent this:

Okay. So, first off - don’t take it as a demotion. Your team plays a super high tempo style where d-mids are integral to the success of the system.

Second: you have to know where you are the entire time you’re playing d-mid. You’ll have to help support even though you’re a shortie, so find spots where you are comfortable on the field and try to steer the guys you’re guarding into those.

Three: you have to body up more the closer you are to the goal. Footwork is key, but so is your timing on your contact. Stay on hips when you need to control the ball carrier and break out quick after a save.

This was my follow up:

It’s hard but try not to get frustrated. You’re a Hopkinton Lacrosse Player. You’re tough as ____. You’re gonna outwork everyone, every chance you get. You screw up, you forget about it. Better next time up. You’re starting over as a freshman, but don’t forget where you came from. Find a way to focus on where you are on the field and in drill. You can only control what you can control.

That last part is something I say out loud a lot to a lot of people. It’s honestly, foolproof advice to reframe how you’re looking at something at any given time. The next time you’re mad or frustrated about something, say it to yourself. It’s one of those things that is always true.

We’re heading into the long road to spring. Preseason for middle and high school teams will be here before any of us can fully comprehend. Whether you’re a coach, or a player, or a parent - you’d do well to remember these three things:

• It’s not about you

• Work as hard as you can

• Control what you can control

If we all tried to do those three things, maybe we’d all find a way to enjoy the sport a little bit more.