A Plea to the Masses
It’s September first, do you know where your children have committed?
I have played sports my entire life. Soccer, basketball (I’m five fouls and a bucket, okay?) wrestling, track, and lacrosse. My parents went to all the games/meets they could - I knew they had to juggle my three siblings - so, when they were there, I appreciated their presence.
What my parents DIDN’T do, was yell things at me during games.
I’ve spent the better part of my summer on lacrosse sidelines. I have watched dozens of games where parents have legitimately lost their minds on refs, opposing players, and their kids. Yelling truly awful and harmful things to all of those parties and even other parents. I wish I were exaggerating. I really wish that I was.
But I’m not.
I have heard more awful trash talk from parents than any players I’ve seen (except this one kid from New York who kept yelling “kiss my ring” every time he screwed up. Which…I feel like that’s an outlier.)
Exhibit A:
Exhibit B:
This has to stop or at least be reduced.
Because…I have to tell you, you sound very, very ignorant. A lot of parents don’t even know the rules and jeer every hit, check, and goal. Like…not every check is a slash. Not every hit is a penalty. And - oh my god, I can’t believe I’m about to say this - not every ref is bad at their job.
Oh, and yelling “Wheels"!” will not make your kid run any faster.
There is a common practice amongst college coaches that maybe you don’t know about. So let me pull back the curtain. Some coaches will sometimes write “110” next to a player that has a very vocal parent on the sidelines.
That doesn’t mean that the player is “110 percent recruitable”.
It means the opposite.
Because when the coaches go home and review the book, they add a diagonal line betwixt the “1s” and it becomes “N0”.
Getting smashed by a great team in club ball is an unfortunate reality that you will all have to face. I get that you’re paying all of this money and it’s very stressful, but turning into a foul-mouthed sailor in a folding chair is not the way.
I’m not mad at you; I’m annoyed with you.
And so is your kid.
There is an argument to be made that yelling encouraging things to the entire team is well within reason. And that’s fair. I guess I’m okay with it. But…in my experience, that positivity is scarce. Roughly 5-15% of the things I have heard this summer, in particular, have been constructive.
So, if you’re a parent reading this - is there a way that I can help you to understand the game better? Why do you scream all game long? Shoot me a DM on Twitter or Instagram and ask me/tell me whatever you want. I’ll keep it anonymous and we can have a dialogue. Just explain it to me.
Stop embarrassing your kids.
Please.