5 Things I learned coaching U-10
I do learn things, you know.
I think I have to start this with a little context. While many readers know that I am a high school coach, I am also a bonus dad to my partner’s nine-year-old boy. That is to say that he is not my biological son and his mother and I are not married, but I am involved in his day-to-day life to the point where calling/introducing me “his mom’s boyfriend” is too wordy (and strange) to repeat to people. So we go with “bonus bud” for kids, and “bonus dad” for adults.
Shut up, it’s cute.
Two years ago, he started playing lacrosse. Because, well, I can’t help but be a coach and it’s the most natural way for me to connect with any kid of any age. He took to it quickly and I made the mistake of teaching him how to shoot as hard as possible first. Now, you can call that irresponsible, it probably was, but it resulted in him drilling a goalie in the helmet from 15 yards with his first shot and me cackling before yelling, “IN THE FACE!” on the sideline.
Despite that incident, the U-10 coaches have invited me to help coach whenever I can. I’ve mostly given a few drills and pointers or filled in if one of the other coaches couldn’t come to a game. However, this winter season I was invited to join the sideline and coach the boys up.
We've just finished our second game this past Sunday, an oddly painful 15-5 win. We also won our first game 18-15 in fun and gun style which had me leaning over the boards cheering and shouting instructions.
I know it’s only been two games, and while I’ve had to adjust my coaching style in some ways, shockingly, most of what I would say to my high school boys translates.
I might be a decent [youth] coach after all.
I’ve only got two sentences to make my point.
If you thought high school kids were vacantly staring off after a few sentences, man, you have never spoken to a disinterested elementary/middle school kid. I blame the screens!
**Shakes fist, then boots up freemium Warhammer 40k game**I think with this generation of kids you have to literally say, “look here” and make eye contact. They’re too young to shame into listening with silence and they’re too human to snap your fingers in front of them like an animal. So when you do get that eye contact and have their attention, you need to make whatever you say impactful. I usually reference a specific situation where they did things right and reinforce it. Unless it’s one of my attackmen playing on my side of the box and then I’m just in their ear the entire game to keep cutting.
In this age group, crying is more about embarrassment or fear than actual pain.
These kids drop like flies in a bucket of honey. And I get it, pain tolerance is not a skill you have, it’s one you must acquire through experience. I’ve found that asking the kid if they are okay and then asking to show them where they got hit are the two things they want the most.
We think of pain differently as we age. It’s a sunk cost when you play lacrosse that you’re going to get hit, you’re going to get slashed and you’re going to come away with bruises. With kids this age, they think that if it hurts, it’s a foul. And sometimes it is, but most time it isn’t.
Still, the way to approach it isn’t to yell or say something like “Get up”, or “Walk it off”, or even “You’re okay”. It’s to show some sympathy for that pain, ask if they want to take a break, and then come back to them after they have processed the emotions ASSOCIATED with the pain.
No one passes the ball, so we might as well double it.
I don’t get why players - and coaches - insist on dodging five times in a circle before they pass. And, again, if you thought that was bad at other levels, good god watch an indoor game with kids who think they’re Lyle Thompson.
Our league is Sixes-esque in that each team has two attackmen, two middies, and two defensemen - with a goalie.
This means that unless the middie has a clear lane to goal to shoot because of a bad sub, goalie jump, or totally busted coverage, everyone is matched on someone else defensively. So when you don’t pass, you can get an easy double and force a turnover because tunnel vision to the goal in a small space destroys good shot selection. You also get the chance to teach defensemen (and middies) when and where to double the ball.
Longpoles should not be allowed in an indoor league.
Why are we letting kids with full longpoles play indoor? It makes no sense. They don’t learn the right approach angles or positioning - all they learn is smash-and-slash defense. Do they get some more time with the ball? Sure, if they want it. But defensemen at this age can just sit back and throw wood for the entire game without ever having to handle the ball because the middies are always the ones who are targeted on clears.
It’s baseless and stupid to have kids play longpole in a confined area where they have a clear and total advantage defensively. It will give them false confidence and, 9 times out of 10, kill their footwork and approach ability before it even gestates.
Prove me wrong. (You can’t).
Nothing negative is going to stick.
The bench is no place for criticism. In-game screaming or yelling about what kids are doing wrong when they are on or off the field is a waste of time. Kids this age are not going to retain that sort of information and it will always bring their energy down. This is true to a certain extent even with older players - JV guys are sometimes just on JV because they can’t process Varsity-level criticism - but young players do not need you to reinforce the mistake. Even if they’re not sure what it is, they don’t need it in the moment. It’s my job to explain that to them when they come off the field. Screaming at a kid to stay onside after he goes offside is a waste.
Explaining rules or mistakes is not negative. It can be communicated that way, but inherently it is just a singular lesson. So, to sweeten up that speech, I say one or two things the kid did well on that shift and then I ask them if they know what mistake they made. If they don’t, I explain it calmly and quickly (see point one). If you keep your coaching positive, the kid is much more likely to respond to you.
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Next week we are tackling the Emergency Holiday Gift Guide for Lacrosse Players.